carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
