found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I cannot find my penis.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
