Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
