i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
