YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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