its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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