Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
