its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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