i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
