HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
