Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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