what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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