yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
