you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
