dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
