Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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