I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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