This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
