I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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