My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I want to fling myself into the sun
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
