I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
