I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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