I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
