Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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