Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

I'd wear matching sweaters with you

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(308): View more from Nebraska

yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time

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(905): View more from Ontario

her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.

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(310): View more from California

I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis

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(647): View more from Ontario

I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.

(905): View more from Ontario

It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.

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(541): View more from Oregon

just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.

(541): View more from Oregon

glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.

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