he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
