I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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