wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
