Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
only you would photoshop your dick
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
