Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
