I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Found your dick twin last night
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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