Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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