I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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