the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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