...so i touched it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
