I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
