the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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