You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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