Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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