That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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