He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
