and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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