she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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