1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
