he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
