So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
