You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
