So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He better not be in your backpack
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
