also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
