Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
